A year ago my husband and I decided we wanted to try for a baby. I suffer with polycystic ovarian syndrome and suffered badly with my periods, eventually being told it was highly unlikely I would ever have children. We put absolutely no pressure on getting pregnant, but to our amazement I fell pregnant on the first try. I had convinced myself it would never happen so found it very difficult to deal with my emotions on finding out we were expecting; but it wasn't to be. At 5 weeks I had a miscarriage.
I had just started to get excited about having a baby and all the baby bits we were going to buy, so was completely heartbroken, however, it made me realise how much I wanted to have a baby. So we tried again, falling pregnant again straight away. Sadly it again wasn't meant to be.
This one I struggled with more, as I started getting stomach pains so went to the hospital to be told I was still pregnant.
I had accepted I had miscarried again so couldn't control my emotions being told I was actually still pregnant but very likely to miscarry again. It took a week for the pregnancy to fully terminate. I struggled so much to come to terms with the second loss and even considered not trying again. However we did again and I fell pregnant straight away again. The whole way through my pregnancy even up until the birth I was a nervous wreck waiting to be told that I had lost my baby girl and didn't enjoy being pregnant at all because of it.
However I gave birth to my beautiful healthy baby girl this February. Even after having her, my worst fears were nearly realised when the doctors found a true knot in her umbilical cord. Inside my heart was breaking at the thought that I had nearly lost my baby girl as I had feared, but as soon as I held her the gush of emotions took over and I was thankful she was strong enough to make it and every day I look at her I count my blessings.