Back in March 2011 my partner and I found out we were expecting our first child together (I already had 3 children from a previous relationship) and were over the moon with excitement. Easter came and we were due to have a scan at a week later as we were about 14 weeks along, all was going as planned.
On good Friday I started cramping and bleeding.
The ultrasound showed only a 5 week old foetus, and to our despair our baby had no heartbeat. My body had a missed miscarriage and thought I was pregnant still for 9 weeks after our baby had grown it's wings.
A year later our rainbow was born in May 2012, and soon after to our shock we found out we were expecting again. Everything once again was fantastic. The perfect pregnancy as most would say. Our 12 and 20 week scans came and went and we found out we were having another baby boy.
In May we celebrated our rainbow's 1st birthday and what a wonderful day it was too. Our little peanut was kicking away when we got to bed, I think after a hectic day he wanted to have his own little party for his brother!
At 5:30 the following morning I woke up with stomach pains, they felt like Braxton Hicks contractions, so I didn't think much of it and just went to have a bath. After 2 hours though the pains were still there. At 30 weeks pregnant I knew something wasn't right so called the hospital.
I was advised the pain sounded like pelvic girdle pain and to go to the doctors to get stronger pain relief. The doctor sat me down and has good listen.
Then he went quiet.
"I'm sorry I can't find the baby's heartbeat I would like you to go straight to the hospital to get checked"
With those words ringing through my head my husband and I went down to the hospital. I didn't really like the doctor I had seen so we were hoping he was just wrong again, but on having 2 ultrasounds at the hospital our worst fears were confirmed. Our baby boy had gone and I still had to go through labour to deliver him.
I was given a tablet to prepare my body for labour and sent home. I was to come back 2 days later (the following Saturday) to be induced.
Not even 12 hours after leaving the hospital I woke in the middle of the night bleeding. I ran to the toilet where I collapsed and knocked myself out by banging my head on the bath as I fell off the toilet. I don't remember much more of that night, but I was told I was rushed in an ambulance to the hospital where I was given a full blood transfusion and induced due to losing over 5 and a half litres of blood.
Our son Scott was born sleeping at 6:34 weighing 3lb 8oz. He was just perfect.
I've since on to become a befriender for Sands to help other families going through pregnancy and infant loss in memory of Scott and our other precious angel. We have been lucky enough to be blessed with another rainbow baby who is now coming up to his first birthday. He really has been our ray of light after our storm and we are truly grateful for our living children to be here, but not a day goes by that we don't think of and talk about our angels x