Wellbeing after Miscarriage programme - part 1

Grief after miscarriage

Looking after yourself during these sessions.

Different ways of understanding grief, loss and bereavement (sometimes called 'models of grief'):

• tasks of mourning - another way of understanding the stages of grief after miscarriage
• growing around grief.

Safe place - a guided mindfulness activity. This can help you feel calmer, safer and reduce feelings of anxiety.

Denise suggested you try the safe place exercise again in your own time. 

You can remind yourself how to do that below. These mindful mix soundscapes can help you when you are imagining your safe space.

About the safe place exercise

• Feeling safe is really important for mental health and wellbeing. The safe place exercise is a mindful practice that help you find a sense of inner peace and calm, rest, relaxation and sleep.

   

• Using your imagination to create a place of safety means that this place is always available to you in the future. You might find it difficult at first and that’s OK. If you are able to imagine a good enough place or an OK place that’s a great start. The more you practice the easier it will become for you to imagine a place that feels 100% safe for you.

   

• Your safe place will be personal to you. It could be a real place, somewhere you have been before or would like to go. Or it could be an imaginary place, perhaps a fairy glen or somewhere in the clouds. It could be a place outside in nature or somewhere inside. The choice is up to you. The most important thing is that this place feels as safe as you can possibly imagine.

   

• Whatever place you choose, try not to add any other people, this is your safe place, personal to you.

   

• We learn best when we use all our senses. This means that during the exercise you will imagine what you can see, hear, touch or feel, smell and taste.

Creating your safe place

• Start by finding a time and place where you won’t be disturbed. Sit or lie in a comfortable position and start to focus on your breath.

   

• Take a few breaths. When you are ready close your eyes.

   

• Notice how your tummy expands as you inhale and falls back as you exhale. If it’s helpful, you can put one or both hands on your tummy to help you connect with that movement.

   

• Notice any tension in your body, any tightness in your muscles. Let that tension go as you exhale.

   

• Now think of a place that feels safe to you, it can be a real place, somewhere you have been before or seen in a picture, or an imaginary place.

   

• Take some time to explore this place in your mind, imagine the colours and shapes you see around you.

   

• Now imagine any sounds around you, maybe there is a distant sound or sounds nearby, maybe it’s silent.

   

• Can you imagine any sensations on your skin, warmth, coolness or softness. Notice any contact between your body and the scene around you, the ground or floor below you.

   

• Take some time here just to relax and breathe noticing any smells you imagine would be in the air.

   

• While you relax here why not give this place a name. Naming this place will help you to find your way back to it in the future.

   

• Enjoy the peace and calm of your safe place for a few minutes before opening your eyes.

Welcome and introduction with physiotherapist Jenni Calcraft.

Feeling disconnected from your body and core after miscarriage. 

Reconnecting with your body in a positive way.

Jenni will show you exactly what to do. This is just to give you a general idea. We will also show you an easier and harder version of all the movements. 

Grounding exercise and checking in with your body.

Core breathing.

Engaging your pelvic floor.

Gentle strengthening exercises:

• knee drop outs
• heel slides
• bridges
• cat stretches
• floating arms
• wall planks or gentle plank preparation movements
• hip flexor stretches
• standing balances and movements.

Next steps and finish.

Read more about core breathing and pelvic floor exercises here.

Grounding exercise

Jenni suggested that you try and do the grounding exercise every day. This is a great way to ‘check in’ with how you are feeling physically and to start reconnecting with your body in a caring way. 

Let Jenni guide you through the grounding exercise again.

Pelvic floor connection exercises

Jenni also suggested you try and do the pelvic floor connection exercises little and often as you go through your day. For example, when you get into bed (lying), during advert breaks (sitting) and while the kettle boils (standing). 

Set an alarm on your phone to help you remember or use an app such as Easy Kegel (Kegels are another word for pelvic floor exercises).

Remind yourself of core breathing and connecting with your pelvic floor here.

Movements to build on the work you did in Core Connection.

Shakira will show you exactly what to do. This is just to give you a general idea. Nicky and Jenni will show you an easier and harder version of all the movements. 

Warm up:

• arm swings
• head rolls
• side reaches
• marches on the spot
• mini squats
• arm circles.

Main workout:

• sit to stand with knee raise
• knee marches
• Ys and Ts
• downward dog to kneeling plank
• clam
• the bridge
• kneeling hip extensions.

If you need more support, you could reach out to others on our Facebook group.

If you can, it can be really helpful to talk to someone you are close to about this programme, or even watch it with them.

You can also talk to a Tommy’s midwife for free. You can call them Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm on 0800 0147 800 or you can email them at [email protected]. Our midwives are trained in bereavement support so will be able to talk to you about what you’re going through. If you are Black or Black Mixed Heritage we have a specialist helpline for you, in partnership with 5 X More. Book your call here.

The Miscarriage Association runs support groups in person and on Zoom.

We have more information and support on our website too.
 

If you are having suicidal thoughts or thoughts about harming yourself or others, call 999 or go to A&E. If you need to talk to someone right now, call  Samaritans on 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258.

J. William Worden (2018) Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy, A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Edition 5. Springer Publishing Company.

Tonkin L, (1996) Growing around grief - another way to look at grief and recovery. Bereavement Care Vol 15 (No.1).

Crawford (2016) Pelvic floor muscle motor unit recruitment: Kegels vs specialised movement. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Volume 214, Issue 4, Supplement, S468.    

NICE (2021) Pelvic Floor Dysfunction: Prevention and Non-Surgical Management  

POGP Advice and guidance for the childbearing years