Our first pregnancy
In 2018, my husband Michael and I were delighted to fall pregnant with our first child. But, at a 9 week scan, we found out that our baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. We were told we'd had a molar pregnancy. We were devastated but wanted to try again.
The next year, I was pregnant again with our daughter, Isla. The pregnancy was smooth and despite any initial worries, Isla came into the world happy and healthy in 2019. We were over the moon.
A "textbook" pregnancy
2 years after Isla was born, I became pregnant for the 3rd time. This pregnancy was during lockdown, which came with its own challenges, but I was so busy with Isla I didn't have too much time to think about any of it. We were still a little anxious up until the 20 week mark just because of our pregnancy history, but doctors said this was a low risk “textbook” pregnancy.
After noticing reduced movements, I made an appointment and went into hospital to be checked. We knew the drill by now - I was hooked up to the monitor and given the reassuring news that all was okay with our baby and we were free to go home. After continuing to monitor movements, 2 days later I noticed Ada hadn’t moved as usual. Off I went back to the hospital alone expecting to be monitored and told everything was fine. However, I was given the heartbreaking news that there was no heartbeat.
Losing Ada
On the 4th May 2021, our beautiful daughter Ada Poppy O’Toole was born sleeping at 34 weeks. To this day, I still find it hard to believe this happened to our daughter. I was aware that stillbirth was a risk but never once imagined this would happen to us.
The days and weeks that followed were simply incomprehensible. Shock, disbelief, grief, anger, sadness, hopelessness were just a few of the emotions I felt all whilst having to carry out the practical tasks I had to endure, such as arranging a funeral. It's something no parent should ever have to experience. We will forever feel shattered by the loss of Ada.
