Tommy’s felt like a beacon of hope, and I dared to believe that I might just take my rainbow baby home

Meet Hayley, Jack, Andreas, Andonis and Theadora.

Hayley first got pregnant in 2014, not long before her and Jack’s wedding. They were over the moon, but sadly 2 weeks later she began to spot blood which became heavier. “It was a few days before my dating scan, so at the appointment I explained I ‘d been bleeding. They saw a little baby measuring 7-weeks, so the sonographer said I may have got my dates wrong. I was clutching at straws, so accepted her explanation whilst waiting for a repeat scan in 2 weeks. But if I’d been thinking straight, I would’ve known my dates couldn’t be that off.” At the repeat scan, Hayley and Jack received the devastating news that they’d had a missed miscarriage, without an obvious cause.  

“The loss of our baby, who we named Gabriel, took me to a really dark place. I would sob walking into a supermarket passing the baby aisle and divert my vision from baby bumps. Finding Tommy’s gave me some answers to my questions about my loss.”

The following year, Hayley got pregnant again, and the couple welcomed their son Andreas in 2016, but Hayley struggled with anxiety and fear throughout.  Because of her loss followed by suffering with post-natal depression after Andreas, they weren’t sure they would try for any more children: “I thought if I had a baby it would ease some of the pain of my loss, but it wasn’t the ‘fix it’ I thought it would be. I came to realise  you cannot fill that hole grief maims you with.”

In 2019, Hayley and Jack decided to try for a sibling for their son. They got pregnant very quickly, however, a few months into pregnancy, Hayley was found to have high blood pressure and was started on medication to manage it. At her 20-week scan, it was clear she was not well. A detailed scan showed her baby, another boy, wasn’t growing properly. Over the next 6 weeks, she bounced between home and the hospital every time her blood pressure increased. “I was becoming more and more unwell and regular scans showed my baby’s growth was still slowing, but the doctors said it was too early for pre-eclampsia. We named him Elias and he fought the hardest fight he could, but devastatingly he died at 26 weeks. I delivered him 2 days later, and while he was tiny, he was perfect in every way.”

After Elias’ death, Tommy’s became a lifeline for Hayley. She researched pre-eclampsia, used our social media support groups and became involved with the Tommy’s community. “Without this support”, says Hayley, “I don’t think I would have made it through.”

Hayley was advised not to consider getting pregnant again for her own safety and baby’s, but accidentally fell pregnant again during the Covid-19 lockdown. She had seen Tommy’s offered specialist clinics for pre-eclampsia and rainbow babies, so she requested a referral. Our team at Manchester supported with additional screening and appointments, telephone calls from nurses, home blood pressure monitoring and close management of her medication.  

“Dr Jenny Myers and her team at the MAViS Clinic became my saviours. They treated me with such care and reassurance, for the first time since my first baby loss I felt safe and that my baby inside me was also safe.”  

Dr Myers confirmed what Hayley had suspected: she’d had early onset pre-eclampsia in her previous pregnancy. She got to 32-weeks before her healthcare team decided it was time to deliver her baby for their safety. Their son Andonis was born exactly a year to the day they lost Elias. “We saw this as a sign from his Angel big brother that he was going to be okay and we’d get to take him home.”

Three years later in 2023, Hayley and Jack decided to expand their family again, confident in the knowledge that Tommy’s would be there every step of the way. Under the care of Tommy’s, her pre-eclampsia was carefully managed and, following an emergency c-section at 32 weeks, their daughter Theadora was born.  

To give back to Tommy’s, Hayley took part in the PARROT trial and also donated her placenta for research. She says she’ll never forget the babies she’s lost and talks about them often.  

“I know if it wasn’t for Tommy’s and the work they do, my eldest son would be an only child, and we would not have the beautiful family we have today. I feel forever in their debt, as nothing I could ever do would thank them enough for my rainbow babies.”