Excited to be pregnant
I always wanted to have a small family. When I got married, I assumed that was the next natural step and we were intentionally and actively trying to get pregnant.
When I got pregnant on our second cycle of trying in March 2012, I was so excited.
I felt really happy as I knew I’d always wanted to be surrounded by children.”
My diagnosis
During my pregnancy, I noticed I was very fatigued and had issues with my vision. I started seeing wavy lines and having to constantly blink. This was sporadic, but noticeable.
At 21 weeks, I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. This meant I was closely monitored as it could lead to other complications for me and my baby.
Rhema Leigh
The decision was made at 32 weeks that I had to be induced for my and my baby’s safety. 9 hours into labour, I had a placental abruption, and my daughter died.
My daughter, Rhema Leigh, was born on 20th December 2012.
The bereavement midwife allowed me to hold her, and she was dressed and pictures, handprints and footprints were taken.
After our loss
We agreed to a postmortem on the placenta, which showed I had a blood disorder called Anti-Phispholopid Syndrome. This causes my blood to thicken and makes me more prone to clots.
My family and friends were helpful after losing Rhema, and the community of bereaved mothers in my local SANDS group were the key for me.
Being able to speak to people who l didn’t have to explain my feelings to and who understood it made the difference.”
My message to others
To anyone else going through loss, I would say:
You’re not alone.
It’s ok to talk to people when you’re ready to.
Your baby will always be remembered.
The future
I shared my story as Tommy’s is working with many others to reduce baby loss in all communities. I’ve always known the charity and the profile it has is well known.
I’m very passionate about stillbirth and baby loss in the black community. We’re disproportionately affected and yet a lot of deaths and losses are preventable.
I want to be part of the change I want to see in the reduction of stillbirths in the black community. It’s disproportionate, it’s heartbreaking and it has to be tackled.
