She came out with her eyes open and crying, a sound I never thought I would hear

My first daughter

In December 2022, my daughter, Imiza Affia, was born at 28+6 weeks. At 2 days old, she had a bleed on her brain, and sadly passed away.

I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was lost, broken and hated the world. I had so many moments of not wanting to be here anymore.  

I felt I had no purpose in the world as my everything was taken away from me.”

After my loss, I was only offered support when I got pregnant again. It was so hard – I had to rebuild myself. Even my family didn’t know what to say or do with me.  

I’ve mentally had to sit there and think about what I can do to make Imiza proud.  

What’s kept me going is fighting for change in her memory.”

Getting pregnant again

9 months later, I got pregnant again. I had another low-lying placenta, which meant I was seen regularly by Tommy’s.  

We kept hoping my placenta would move, but it didn’t, and my baby was measuring smaller than expected. I was on bed rest from 20 weeks, and had to go for monitoring multiple times a week.

I was very anxious throughout my whole pregnancy, worrying that my rainbow baby wouldn't survive.”

Help from Tommy’s

One day, I went to my local hospital to be scanned, and was told everything seemed fine.

2 days later, I went to Tommy’s. Within seconds of being scanned, Professor Alex Heazell noticed part of my placenta had stopped working. He said he wasn’t happy for baby to stay in.  

Prof Heazell immediately contacted my hospital to arrange for my baby to be delivered. This was so I could be close to home and stick to my birth plan of the consultant who I wanted to deliver my baby.

Giving birth

I was 36 weeks when I had my rainbow baby, Safiyah Imiza. This time round, the birth was so different.  

She came out with her eyes open and crying, a sound I never thought I would hear.”  

When Imiza was born, the room was silent with so many doctors and no one telling me anything until I was put to sleep. This time, I was awake throughout the whole surgery, my daughter was born and got put on my chest and we were wheeled out together.  

Even though she was born early, Safiyah didn’t have to go into NICU. We were visited on the ward, and had a 5 day stay in hospital before going home.

Having a premature baby

It’s scary having a premature baby. I had so many different people tell me different things, and it became too much for me to handle.  

I appreciated the NICU team so much. You could tell they were specialists as they were so up front and honest with me.

My baby is now 6 and a half months old and is absolutely thriving. She’s amazing.  

She’s not a replacement, but she gave me a reason to be a better version of myself.”

Safiyah gave me hope, a purpose. She’s my everything, I’m her protector. There’s no amount of words I can say can explain how much I appreciate her and love her, just like I do Imiza.  

Thanks to Tommy’s

It’s thanks to Tommy’s my baby girl made it into this world safely. Without them scanning me and recognising my placenta had stopped working, I don’t think she’d be with me now.  

The care I received was above and beyond I am eternally grateful for their help and support.”

Professor Heazell is absolutely outstanding at his job, reassuring me at every appointment. And midwife Emilie was so caring and passionate, going above and beyond to make me feel safe and reassured.

They gave me hope, and brought back something in me I had lost when my first born daughter died.  

No matter how much I say to show gratitude, it can never truly express how thankful I am.”  

Remembering Imiza

It’s been 23 months since Imiza passed away.  

There’s not a day that goes by we’re I don’t sit and think what we should be doing now.”

It will be her 2nd birthday 1 month today, and the sadness I carry knowing all we can do is fight for change and tell her story leaves you with a whole in your heart forever.

I’ve made a special memorial in my garden at home, and I visit her in the graveyard weekly. I’ve also done 2 charity days in her memory and plan to do one every year to keep her memory alive.