Our heartbreaking loss
In October 2023, our hearts were filled with joy and excitement as we discovered we were expecting our first child.
Unfortunately, this joy was shattered 8 weeks into the pregnancy. We’d been for an early reassurance scan where we saw our baby’s heartbeat and felt an overwhelming sense of happiness. But just one day later, I noticed intense pain and bleeding.
We rushed to the hospital, followed by numerous visits and blood tests, only to have our worst fears confirmed. I’d had a miscarriage.
The heartbreak was immense and I felt a failure.”
You hear phrases like "it's so common" and "it happens to 1 in 4" once you've been through it. As soon as I started talking openly about it, I realised how many of my friends and family had been through the same and just tried to deal with it alone.
Supporting each other
Losing a baby is a deeply personal and painful journey, but it shouldn't be faced alone.
Our journey has taught us the importance of hope, resilience, and the need for support during such challenging times.”
Matt really was my rock and we coped by navigating the grief together, coupled with lots of love and communication.
We recently passed the expected due date of our lost baby which was incredibly tough as you think about the ‘what ifs’. Strangely it also provided some closure, as did registering our loss to receive the baby loss certificate as it made the loss feel acknowledged and “real”.
My advice to others
To anyone else going through loss, I would say: take care of yourself by doing something you enjoy and remember you’re not alone! It's so important to give yourself time and seek comfort and strength from those around you. It's okay to be sad, angry, confused, numb, but you are allowed to be happy again!
Even in the darkest times, there is hope and the possibility of a miracle.”
Raising awareness
I hadn't heard of Tommy's until our miscarriage. But since then, I’ve been a proud advocate as the charity holds such significance to my experience and so many others.
Miscarriage is so traumatic and it has fuelled my determination to raise awareness and remove the stigma around miscarriage and baby loss.
I feel because miscarriage in the 1st trimester is so "common" it's often neglected and many people go about their lives as normal with no support. From the outside there’s likely no obvious issues, yet inside you feel broken and alone.”
The future
After our loss, we miraculously conceived again very quickly with our little miracle baby due any day now (late August 2024)! Whilst we’ve been worried throughout this pregnancy, Tommy's has helped us by providing insight and support. We are so excited to meet our precious rainbow baby soon!
Our hope is that by sharing our story with Tommy's, we can provide others going through similar heartache comfort and hope for the future.
