This time of year can be difficult to navigate at the best of times, but in 2021 when we have been apart from our friends and families, our support systems, and our coping mechanisms for over a year – we know it’s going to be even harder for so many.
Firstly, know that you are not alone, and you are a mum, even thought it might not be seen outwardly by the world around you. Motherhood means something different to everyone, and at Tommy’s we recognise and see all mums.
“A mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart.” – Franchesca Cox
You can choose to spend Mother’s Day in whatever way you see best for you and your family. This might mean ignoring the day entirely, taking time to reflect and remember your baby or celebrating yourself as the wonderful mother you are.
Whatever you decide, your decision and your feelings are valid, but be kind to yourself.
If you need to protect yourself, then please do so. This could mean unsubscribing to emails about Mother’s Day – some companies like Bloom & Wild, M&S and George at Asda already offer this as an opt out which we think is brilliant and so needed.
Remember it is okay to unfollow accounts that upset you or make you feel bad. Even if this is temporary to get you through the coming days or weeks – it is more important that you protect your own heart.
You might want to take a break from social media entirely. Or you might take the time to curate your online spaces to be somewhere that brings you joy or comfort, whatever that might look like to you. If you need to stop ads following you around the internet, you can follow our guide to help with this.
If you are finding this time difficult, please don’t be afraid to let someone you know and trust know how you’re feeling so that they can support you. You might feel more comfortable talking to others who have been through similar experiences and understand in our private support group.
If you feel that it would help to have some extra support, then please do consider it. A good place to start exploring options is your GP as they should know about any support services that are local to you. During the pandemic, many are continuing to offer support either via phone, video call or computer-based therapy.
Another option is IAPT (Improving access to psychological therapies) which you can sign up for yourself without needing a GP referral.
Of course, you can always talk to us too; we are still here for you.
And remember, tomorrow is another day.