Tommy's guest blog, 16/12/2016, Susan Jackson
Losing a baby is devastating. Unfortunately, Christmas can be a painful reminder of the reality you may now find yourself faced with, different to the one you had hoped for.
It’s also so hard to know how to comfort and be there for someone who is in pain and grieving their loss.
For some women, including their baby in the festivities is an important way of coping. It allows some mums to feel that their baby is involved and a part of their families’ Christmas traditions.
For Susan Jackson, receiving a glass bauble with a white feather in it the Christmas after her baby girl was stillborn meant the world.
Susan was pregnant with identical twins but, for reasons still unknown, her baby Evie was born sleeping. Susan was left to take Ella home, leaving her sister alone in the hospital.
Coping after this kind of heartbreak is incredibly difficult. Looking back, Susan told us that there are just no words to describe this pain and no words to console someone who has suffered it.
That’s why when her auntie, who has lost 2 babies herself, gave Susan a feather bauble to commemorate Evie and acknowledge their loss, it empowered Susan to begin making her own for other bereaved parents.
‘You’re trying to put on a smiley face, trying to pretend that everything is ok. You feel so isolated when you lose a baby because people just don’t know what to say and really, there is nothing they can say. But a gift like this shows someone that you’re thinking of them and that you’re acknowledging their loss. A gift like this is actually all it takes.’
Susan sells these baubles at the charity Christmas fayres she organises. Across 6 years of fundraising, Susan and her supporters have managed to donated over £47,000 to Tommy’s!
The baubles are by far the most popular item and Susan guesses that she has sold over 400 in the last year alone.
‘If the money we raise will help one little baby a year make it, then we’ll have made our little girl proud.’
If you’d like your own feather bauble this year, you can get in touch with Susan at [email protected] and place your order.
You can read our midwife Sophie’s advice for those of you facing Christmas without your baby here. We hope you find it comforting and useful at what we know can be a difficult time.